This year will be the second year I have spent away from home. The first time was years ago and I was working retail at Best Buy and HAD to work Christmas Eve. (I took Thanksgiving off, so it was only fair that I work Christmas. I think I was taking cellphone sales pretty seriously at the time, so I took it on the chin). In retrospect, I could have just flown home late that night or Christmas Day, but I don’t think that thought ever occurred to me (again…cellphones called, Mom! …Pun intended). Anyways, I was lonely and miserable, and sobbed as I opened my gifts my parents shipped me. (Who knew mittens and a new PJ set from Kohl’s could drive me into hysterics?) This year, I just waited too long to buy a plane ticket and by the time I was ready to pull the trigger, tickets were $1,000. I love my family, but not that much. And apparently they don’t love me that much, either, because when I told them the price, they were like “well, we’ll miss you. At least I now know my parents love me a lot, but less than $1,000 worth.

So with my bountiful experience being away from family on Christmas, here is my list of ways not to cry over jammies and feel sorry for yourself:

1. Watch Made-For-TV Movies

I like to do this all-day-every-day leading up to Christmas, but for some, that’s a little much (I’m just saying, this year Hallmark had TWELVE all new made-for-tv movies premiering, ABC Family is good for at least five newbies, and then there are the classic ones you just have to watch every year, who even has the time!!!!)

I don’t care what anyone says, I think Christmas made-for-TV movies are what the holiday is all about. They’re fluffy, they’re fun, they’re packed with actors you thought either died or quit the business, and they all make you think you need more decorations and holiday-themed outfits. And when you’re away from home, the feel-good vibes and Christmas spirit will just radiate from the TV and into your heart, like that Poltergeist did to that little blonde girl in that movie. But more festively, and less satan-y. The added bonus to watching these all day is that when you see an unemployed Melissa Joan Hart with a bad perm kidnap Mario Lopez, then handcuff him, ensure he has no access to a phone, and force him to pretend that he’s her boyfriend so her family doesn’t think she’s a total loser in the ABC Family original Holiday in Handcuffs, you just feel good about where you’re at in life. And I think I can definitively say that, because I’ve watched it at least 10 times. (Only twice this year, relax!) May I also suggest: The Mistle-Tones, Let It Snow, Christmas on the Bayou, The 12 Dates of Christmas, Christmas Cupid, and Santa Baby 1 through 3 (Because one movie about Santa’s daughter just isn’t enough).

2. Find the Other Orphans

Odds are, you aren’t the only one here for the holiday. Find the other Christmas Orphans in your extended circle of friends who also chose to stay in town and make plans with them. And hopefully find someone who can cook and will cook you a fancy, Vegan-Gluten-Soy-Free Christmas dinner, or whatever you guys are eating these days. Even if the only people staying in town are the ones you don’t like that much and they’re like a Tier-C friend, now’s the time to bond! Disliking someone’s personality comes second at a time like this. It’s better to spend the day (even a few hours, just to do something festive like ice skate or look at the local Christmas display) with someone, anyone, then be by yourself wandering the streets, wistfully looking at smiling couples, like you’re in a David Grey music video. I don’t care how independent you think you are, if you spend the day alone, looking at happy families making memories together, you’re going to be that person sitting in the corner at Starbucks crying into your Grande-Skinny-Peppermint-Mocha-with-extra-whip for no reason and they’ll ask you to leave. Which will upset you even more, because now where will you go??

3. Do a Family Tradition

Does your family always watch A Christmas Story? Do an Advent Calendar? Then do that! When I was a kid, my grandparents would always send us a big box in the weeks leading up to Christmas with our gifts – but more importantly – a huge tin of homemade cookies. My favorite were what I called the “Puffy Cookies with Sprinkles.”  As an adult, I discovered they were Ricotta Cookies and got her recipe. It would be more interesting if it was an old, super secret family recipe, but she coughed it up pretty easily and I’m pretty sure the same recipe is on a hundred different websites. But let’s pretend it’s a secret recipe for the sake of the story.

 

The first time I made them was my first Christmas away from my family (that sounds so depressing, but let’s remember, this is very much a First World Problem). At the time, it almost made me feel like I was home. Until my sister called me, telling me how much fun they were having playing Bananagrams and drinking Hot Toddy’s. This problem can be easily solved, if you…

 

4. …Make Your Family Video Chat With You All Day!

When in doubt, just insert yourself into your family’s plans and make them take you on a virtual journey throughout their day. Obviously, waking up and opening presents is still the most fun part of the day. Adults try and pretend it’s not, but it totally is (have you seen those Kay Jewelers commercials?! Those bitches are thirsty for that gift box). I’m 29 and still can’t wait to rip open that wrapping paper and see what I got. (Nothing says “Happy Birthday, Jesus!” like Consumer Capitalism, amiright?) So, as soon as you wake up, grab that cup of coffee and snuggle up by your laptop and open your gifts with your family! It’ll be just like when you were a kid, and your parents would film you opening your presents and constantly yell at you to “HOLD IT UP AND SHOW IT TO THE CAMERA!” I mean, really, the joys of modern technology.

 

And now that you can video chat on your phone, there’s no reason you can’t go ice skating with your family, play in the snow, watch a movie simultaneously and do your usual commentary, and eat dinner together. It’s a lot like that movie “Her,” only you don’t fall in love with your cell phone and think Siri is a real person and also your parents are there.

 

5. Remember It’s Just One Day

I know it’s a special day, so it feels like the worst thing to be spending it away from your family. But if you did fly home, you’d probably be so annoyed that your parents are treating you like you’re 15 again that by the end of the day, you wished you booked an earlier flight home. So relish the few more days you have of vacation, and do the stuff YOU want to do – like, sleep all day and watch 3 seasons of “Game of Thrones” on someone’s HBO Go account that you stole the password to. That’s really what the holiday break is all about.